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The Pastor's Family: Shepherding Your Family through the Challenges of Pastoral Ministry, by Brian Croft, Cara Croft
Ebook Free The Pastor's Family: Shepherding Your Family through the Challenges of Pastoral Ministry, by Brian Croft, Cara Croft
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Featuring insights from the perspective of both a pastor and his wife―The Pastor’s Family identifies the complicated burdens and expectations ministry brings to the life of a family. Brian and Cara Croft identify the unique challenges that pastors face as husbands and fathers. They also discuss the difficulties and joys of being a pastor’s wife and offer practical advice on raising children in a ministry family. In addition to addressing the challenges of marriage and raising children, they also highlight the joys of serving together as a family and the unique opportunities pastors have to train their children and lead their families.
With discussion questions for use by couples and pastoral reading groups, this book is ideal for pastors and their spouses, pastoral ministry students and their wives, as well as elders, deacons, and others who wish to remain faithful to the care of their families while diligently fulfilling their calling in ministry. The Pastor’s Family equips pastors with time-tested wisdom to address the tension of family and congregational dynamics while persevering in their calling.
- Sales Rank: #325632 in Books
- Brand: Zondervan
- Published on: 2013-08-03
- Released on: 2013-08-03
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.99" h x .47" w x 5.28" l, .40 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 171 pages
About the Author
Brian Croft is Senior Pastor of Auburndale Baptist Church in Louisville, Kentucky. Brian is the founder of Practical Shepherding, a non-profit organization committed to equipping pastors all over the world in the practical matters of pastoral ministry.
Cara Croft is a wife to Brian and a homeschooling mother of their four children. She did her undergraduate work at Asbury College and serves in a number of ways teaching and discipling the ladies of Auburndale Baptist Church. She enjoys serving her husband and family and looks forward to when she will have more time to pursue her love of speaking, teaching, writing and photography.
Most helpful customer reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Strongly Recommended
By Tim Challies
I admit it: I sometimes grow weary of hearing about all the challenges faced by pastors and pastors' wives and pastors' kids. Is a pastor's vocation really so different from any other? Can it really be such a challenge to the rest of his family? Could it be that pastors are just a little too sensitive about the whole thing?
I haven't been a pastor long enough to speak with a whole lot of authority. But a few years into this life, I can at least vouch that a pastor's family does face a number of unique challenges, challenges that are different from those faced by a small business owner or salaried employee. (I have been both.) Pastoral ministry is a difficult calling not just for a man, but for his whole family.
Brian Croft has a burden for practical matters of pastoral ministry and writes often at practicalshepherding.com. He has teamed up with his wife to Cara to write The Pastor's Family. This is a book that calls a pastor to the task of shepherding his family through the challenges of pastoral ministry.
It took only a few pages for the book to help me grasp something that should be obvious but that had largely escaped me until now. Much of what makes a pastor's challenge unique as he shepherds his family does not come from the church but from his own heart. In the chapter titled simply "The Problem," Croft shows that pastors face internal demands of approval, appearance, success, and much besides. These are expectations the pastor places upon himself and they can soon come to control him and to dominate his decision-making. The demands soon become idols, things that hold out the promise of satisfaction and significance. Soon a man will sacrifice his family and neglect their care in order to pursue satisfaction. "The problem rests not in the demands and pressures we face but in how we create idols out of those demands, idols that lead us to neglect our family and dishonor God."
The solution is to better understand, appreciate and apply the good news of what Christ has accomplished, and to understand that our significance is found in him. "Struggling pastors need to rely on two facets of the biblical gospel is they hope to experience its power: they need to own their sin, acknowledging their neglect and failure, and they need to rely on the grace Christ offers, trusting in the gifts and promises of God rather than in their own efforts to secure what they want and need."
With the foundation laid, the Crofts go on to write several chapters about the pastor's wife and the pastor's family. In most cases Brian writes the chapter with Cara adding comments here and there; in two cases, though, Cara leads the way and leaves Brian to add his comments. It is quite an effective format that accomplishes two things: it adds a woman's perspective and wisdom and it also makes the book more applicable to a pastor's wife. The Crofts strike a good balance between the descriptive and the prescriptive, between what the Bible commands and wise applications of that truth. They open up their church, their home and their family just enough to give us a glimpse of principles in action.
There are a few parts of the book that were especially helpful to me: the section on serving, encouraging and discipling your wife; the section on praying with and for your wife; the practical instructions for individually discipling your children; and the two chapters written by Cara, since they helped me better understand the challenges my wife does face or may soon face.
All throughout the history of the church there have been pastors--and you may well know some of them--who have sacrificed their families on the altar of ministry. Too many neglected wives and forsaken children can testify to men who time and time again chose ministry in place of family. Every pastor can testify to the power of this temptation, which is exactly why there is such an urgent need for The Pastor's Family. This book challenges pastors to care first and best for their wives and children and it carefully draws upon biblical wisdom to allow them to do that very thing. It is a book I intend to read with Aileen and one I heartily recommend to every pastor.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
The Joy of Ministry and Family
By Cameron
At this moment, I’m finishing up my third year of full-time pastoral ministry. I remember studying for the ministry, and one of the things my professors ingrained in us repeatedly was that we must guard the calling. Burnout is too prevalent among current ministers. One of the most vulnerable areas of burnout for a pastor is undoubtedly his family. When a family is consistently placed second to the ministry, it has devastating consequences. So, as a new dad myself, I wanted–I needed–to read something on protecting my family.
Brian and Cara Croft have a unique book here. They offer some incredibly practical warnings and advice for the pastor and his family. Throughout each chapter, both Brian and Cara have an opportunity to share from their unique perspectives. This makes portions of the book more directed toward the minister’s wife. A part of me wishes the book was divided into parts for easier readability, but, nonetheless, the presence of both voices was necessary and appreciated. Additionally, each chapter concludes with discussions for the family.
At the same time, I wish the book talked about the joys and benefits of ministry that affect the family. Much of the book takes a somber tone of ministers who inappropriately balanced their home and church. While this is certainly saddening and devastating, there are also ministers who enjoyed the blessings of a family and church balanced. They hit on this fact momentarily throughout the chapters, but I wish more attention was given to this detail. The tone appeared to be more, “Guard your family from the church!” Rather, I wish the tone communicated, “Live in a way so that your family grows to appreciate and love the church!” That really ought to be our aim as ministers.
Nevertheless, this is a valuable book to every minister. I recommend it to the young ministers such as myself. May we heed the warnings within this book and be a generation marked by our healthy stewardship and priorities. It’s also a book for the veterans in ministry as it simply offers more ways we can each connect with our families. If you’re not in ministry, it probably won’t speak to you on the same level. Yet, it will give you a glimpse into the pastor’s life and home–hopefully creating a deeper understanding.
Please note, I was given a free copy of this book by NetGalley in exchange for my honest opinion and review.
6 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Good specifics, light on theology and the gospel.
By Matthew Proctor
(we received a free copy of the book for the purposes of review)
Brian and Cara Croft wrote a book together, so it seemed fitting after reading The Pastor’s Family that we should review the work in a similar fashion.
{Matt}: The authors provide a succinct summary of some of the underlying problems (i.e. idolatries) that plague pastor’s families, as well as discussion-inspiring questions to close each chapter. We felt a number of the practical ideas would benefit ministry families already well-grounded in the Gospel. It lacks, however, a deeply theological discussion on motivations and Gospel-centered rationale for solutions. The book reads more as a series of commands, suggestions, and how-to’s. The danger with a book focused on high demands like this is two-fold. Some will walk away overwhelmed, discouraged, unable to measure up. Others will fall prey to legalism, checking the boxes, satisfied with their performance.
{Carrie}: The Pastor’s Family “…is written to call the pastor to the priority of shepherding his family while still faithfully serving the church.” It particularly addresses pastors who neglect their families in favor of work (though it disregards the many pastors who idolize family and are lazy in God’s service). Included are many helpful practical ideas for changing neglectful patterns of behavior. However, the overall practical emphasis of the book leaves the reader wondering how the Gospel really transforms the heart and home, how it really powers the kind of change pastors and their families are seeking.
Clearly, God has done a good work in the lives of the authors who share openly about their own growth through personal shortcomings and struggles. Their honesty is refreshing. In the end, however, we might suggest ministry families turning first to Paul David Tripp’s Dangerous Calling or Jared Wilson’s The Pastor’s Justification.
Pastor Matt and Carrie Proctor have been married and in ministry for almost eleven years. They are humbled and delighted by God’s grace, their four children, and the privilege of ministering together at Cornerstone Church (EFCA) in Marion, Iowa.
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