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The Marriage Builder: Creating True Oneness to Transform Your Marriage, by Larry Crabb
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Bestselling author Larry Crabb cuts to the heart of the biblical view of marriage: the "one-flesh" relationship. He argues convincingly that the deepest needs of human personality—security and significance—ultimately cannot be satisfied by a marriage partner. We need to turn to the Lord, rather than our spouse, to satisfy our needs. This frees both partners for "soul oneness," a commitment to minister to our spouse's needs rather than manipulating them to meet our own needs. With "soul oneness" comes renewed "body oneness," where couples enjoy sexual pleasure as an expression and outgrowth of a personal relationship.
The Marriage Builder also identifies three building blocks essential to constructing marriage: the grace of God, true marriage commitment, and acceptance of one's mate. Discussion questions are included to aid couples who want to dig into it and apply the principles to their own lives and marriages. The Marriage Builder is for anyone who longs to transform marriage from trial to triumph.
- Sales Rank: #98142 in Books
- Brand: HarperCollins Christian Pub.
- Published on: 2013-05-11
- Released on: 2013-05-11
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .63" w x 5.63" l, .50 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 224 pages
About the Author
Dr. Larry Crabb is a well-known psychologist, conference and seminary speaker, Bible teacher, popular author, and founder/director of NewWay Ministries. He is currently Scholar in Residence at Colorado Christian University in Denver and Visiting Professor of Spiritual Formation for Richmont Graduate University in Atlanta. Dr. Crabb and his wife of forty-six years, Rachael, live in the Denver, Colorado area. For additional information please visit www.newwayministries.org
Most helpful customer reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Great practical concepts for marriage
By Jason Kanz
Originally published in 1982, Larry Crabb's The Marriage Builder: Creating True Oneness to Transform Your Marriage (2013) remains an important book for understanding and transforming marriages. As he writes of oneness, he mentions spirit oneness, soul oneness, and body oneness. As is common with Dr Crabb, he argues that we often believe our needs should be met by others whereas in truth, our primary needs are met in Christ. He does admit, however, that we often lose sight of Christ's filling us. He then moves on to soul oneness, which deals with how spouses are committed to loving the other in an other focused approach. Finally, he spends some time writing about body oneness, or how partners meet one another's physical desires. Having established these facets of true oneness, he discusses a foundation built on grace, commitment, and acceptance.
On the whole, this was a very practical book, grounded in the gospel. I believe that Dr Crabb rightly identifies that our primary identity and needs are met in Christ, but that we can also minister and serve through the marriage. His differentiation between goals and desires, and our level of control over them, is an important one. The discussion of the 3 building blocks--grace, acceptance, and commitment--are also worth the price of the book. This would be a very useful book not only for those who are just starting out, but also for those who have been married for a long time.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Tired of simple solutions----then the Marriage Builder is for you.
By BigBru
This is the best book on marriage that I've ever read----especially if you're a Christian who professes your faith but experiences struggles in your marriage. Welcome to the club. Dr. Crabb and his book will take you from moments of confusion to clarity, if you're willing to struggle through your questions during the process---and his work is always centered in God's Truth. Dr, Crabb doesn't put bandages on cancer. No simple solutions here as he takes you to the root of the problem. There is only One Marriage Builder.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Look to the Interests of Others
By Patrick Lavey
In the Marriage Builder, Larry Crabbe describes marriage as a ministry. No matter what happens, whether or not our spouse meets our desires, we should focus on meeting our spouses desires. He says that all of our needs are met in Jesus Christ. In Him we find love, joy, satisfaction, and everything we need. What we don't have met are our desires. He says that our goal in marriage should be to focus all of our energies on meeting the desires of our spouse.
I never thought of marriage this way before. It sounds somewhat radical but I believe that it could be extremely affective. The biggest problem with married couples is that they are selfish/self-serving. Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Shouldn’t this verse apply to every area of our lives? Including marriage?
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